Rewriting Your Internal Dialogue

Have you ever wanted to deny who you are? Have you taken the time to decide/discover/create who you are? You are the one you. You may have heard this before, but you are the one and only version of you that has ever existed and will have ever existed in the timeline of our existence. The snowflake/thumbprint/QR code that is you exists for only one reason: to exist. You simply get to enjoy (or suffer) through the very circumstances and choices that are unique to you. Those moments when you are by yourself watching the birds fly by/boats pass by/people walk by, are for you to soak in and enjoy. All the thoughts that race through your mind are for you to experience. No one else will have those moments, those exact flow of thoughts. You alone get to enjoy those.

Of course, you could choose to suffer through them. You can choose to view them in a negative connotation and add them to the other reasons to see life as suffering, a hardship, and a worthless story to endure, and that’s not a bad or a good thing. It just is. That may be the hardest thing to accept. The is of the is.

What is your story?

More specifically, what is the story you are writing in your mind right now? You are constantly writing a narrative to yourself, describing your life in every detail to yourself. What is your narrative?

You can describe your narrative in two ways: the story of the victim or the story of the hero. What story are you writing?

I’ve written the story of each and continue to do so, however when I catch myself writing the story of the victim I find a way to edit it to create a story of the hero. I see it as a matter of choice.

Some of you reading this may not see it as a choice, and for those of you have a diagnosis of clinical depression feel free to ignore me. Although I have had my time in the dumps, I have not had any diagnosis of depression, and I am not qualified to help with that. If you fall in that category, perhaps your help may reside in clinical psychiatry, clinical psychotherapy, and/or psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy. For those of you with the run-of-the-mill negative spin on the stories of your life (aka a loud voice of your shadow), I suggest you learn how to pay attention to the way you talk to yourself. You don’t have to choose the negative version of the story you’re living or about to experience.

My new mantra is “Let it be easy” because I catch myself writing a sad version of the story I’m about to live, and I would rather choose an outlook that provides an opportunity to be surprised but the outcome.

Recently my partner and I were planning to trade in a couple cars to get a vehicle that suits our needs more effectively, and I caught myself thinking “we’ll never get the trade-in we want,” “this is going to be annoying,” and other negative spins on the story which hadn’t even been experienced yet. These thoughts would be the lenses through which I viewed the soon-to-be experience, and when I realized this, I knew I had to change the story and take back control of my inner dialogue. Rewriting the internal story I was telling about an experience that had not been lived yet was a way of taking my power back and creating space for magic to happen that was outside of my realm of thinking. Before going to get the appraisals I had to consciously create the thought of “let it be easy” because I caught my thoughts going to the dark side.

That new thought didn’t turn off the other negative thoughts that were swimming around regarding the situation we were about to enter, however it created space for me to be surprised by the experience. And surprised I was.

Long story short: we got a better trade-in value than originally expected, and we were able to get a newer used car than we originally thought. I’m not going to say that the mantra “let it be easy” was what made it happen, but it didn’t hurt that I was able to change my internal story.

Understanding the internal stories we tell ourselves is one of the positive side effects of meditation. Without practicing mindfulness and being aware of the thoughts that present themselves throughout my day, I never would have had the awareness to change the internal narrative/programming that was default to my experience. I chose to take back control, be open and present to something different, and let the cards fall as they may.

I’m not saying it’s going to work every time. I don’t know what kind fo karma you are working through in this lifetime, but if it sounds good to you, try the mantra “let it be easy” the next time you catch yourself writing a hardship story around what you are about to do. Be open to it turning out better than you could think of and let me know how things go.

Enjoy your adventures over the next month and take care?