“God loves you!” exclaimed Dustin to the commuters in the Metro Red Line subway car while standing next to me with his hand just above mine on the rail, and I started to laugh a little inside for several reasons. For one, the fear of being pulled into his performance as an unwitting volunteer being in such close proximity when I was hoping to enjoy an uneventful ride home was challenging the stoic poker face I was desperately holding onto, but the main reason for my internal chuckles was that the message he shared was one that I had received directly though the events of the day and felt that truth deep into my core.
You see, that morning I was summoned downtown to the Stanley Mosk Courthouse to appear for jury duty which had thrown a big monkey wrench my work and family plans for the day, and I was stressing out about finding time to learn a few songs for gigs I had coming up over the next few days. Being called into jury duty did not fit well into my schedule, however it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened for me.
The last time I got called into jury duty in that particular courthouse I ended up sitting in the assembly room all day on a Friday and they let us go early in the afternoon because all of the trials had finished before the weekend. Of course I couldn’t be sure that the same thing would happen again, so I had to plan to be there all day. I knew that there would be a lot of waiting around so I packed up my staff paper and earbuds and prepared to make the best of the time while in the back of my mind praying that I would have the same experience as before.
By lunchtime not one juror was called out of the assembly room, and I was able to finish more than half of the charts that I needed to get done. It was a very productive morning and while talking to Joei over the lunch break I had realized that God* had intervened and set up the day for me to get my work done, fulfill my civil obligation, and minimally impact my work schedule.
(*You can just as easily substitute The Universe, or Your Angels, or Your Spirit Guides, or whatever phrase you resonate with most for the word God. For ease of writing I will use God for the rest of this piece.)
By 2pm I was finished preparing my charts and had time to start reviewing the other songs for my gigs, and before I got too deep into the setlist we were excused at 2:45pm which gave me enough time to get home with only having to reschedule one client for the day. If I would have been called into jury duty on any other day that week it would have affected my work schedule much worse than that. I was grateful for being called in on that day and for having the uninterrupted time to focus and work without being distracted by my family at home.
It was because of all of this that I was laughing inside at Dustin’s exclamation that “God loves you!” while riding home on the subway that afternoon, but the lessons and messages did not end there. Dustin also wanted to share a message from his very used bible that he carried in his hands and began flipping through the pages frantically looking for a verse to quote while laughing and commenting to himself.
As I watched and listened to him do this I started to question his intentions. Was he truly wanting to spread God’s word and help people or was this just another Hollywood Boulevard street performer hiding behind a Holy Bible instead of an Iron Man costume looking for people to give him money?
It appeared that he already knew the passage he was going to quote because he shut the book without ever stopping on a page long enough to read from it and that fed into my suspicion that this was more performance than anything else. He went on to say, “First Peter 5:7, ‘Cast all your anxieties to [God] because he cares for you,’” and like his first message this was in total alignment with what was going on with me that day.
This second message went even deeper than the first. Whereas the first message was reassurance of God’s love in how things worked out for me that day, the second was a reminder that I have powerful allies that lie waiting to be called upon when my limited perception is having trouble seeing that path before me. Very strong and clear messages for me through a very peculiar channel.
Even if this guy was a fake and simply using scripture as a ploy to get money from unsuspecting passengers, I couldn’t deny that the messages he delivered were spot on for me, the man standing right next to him. He then made the announcement that he will be accepting donations from anyone willing to give, and he walked around the subway car collecting them.
As he walked around taking people’s money I wasn’t feeling to keen on giving him cash because I couldn’t be sure of how this guy was going to use it, but I felt I should offer him something since the messages seemed perfect for me at that time. I reached into my backpack to offer him a fruit and nut bar that I had in case I needed a snack. I thought that if he was truly in need that food would be a safe donation for him since cash could easily be used to buy alcohol or drugs, and I didn’t want to contribute to that.
When I tried to hand it to him he refused it pointing to his backpack and saying, “No thanks. I have some food in here.”
Well, that fueled my judgements and criticisms even more in thinking that he was just doing it for the money, and I couldn’t help but think of ways that would make me more upset about the situation and continue making him out to be a bad guy in my mind.
Once he finished his way around the subway car and returned to his spot standing next to me there was an awkward silence from him and all of the passengers while we waited a couple minutes for the next stop. When the doors finally opened he stepped out of the car and the rest of us continued on to our final destination.
His refusal of my food offering bugged me for hours after I got home, and it wasn’t until the evening hours that I finally got the last message that was meant for me through the whole ordeal. I was in the middle of a reiki session and the thoughts of the events and messages of the day were passing through my mind. It’s in those moments of deeply relaxed observation of the mind that connections are made between thoughts that otherwise would not have seemed related at all.
If you read my article “Channeling Money” (read it here) then you know how particular I am about how I budget my finances, and as I thought about this interaction with Dustin more and more, it dawned on me that I was supposed to give him money and not food. Not because it was the right thing to do or because that’s what he wanted, but rather, because I have money specifically set aside to give to the people and organizations that spiritually feed me. That’s what my tithing account, aka God account, is to be used for.
It didn’t matter what Dustin was going to do with the money. It didn’t matter if he was authentic with his intentions or just a street performer. I received a message from God through him that day, and I was too selfish with the money in my pocket to part with it not remembering that I had money in an account designated to be given away especially in moments like that.
I felt like I failed a test, yet in failing that test I had been made aware of my financial abundance. I forgot that I was so abundant that I have money to give away, and that was a great reminder of the importance of the tithing account.
I missed one opportunity that day to stay in an abundant mindset without falling into the trap of my judgmental mind, but even with that I am very appreciative of the other messages I picked up, reassurance of my connection with God and the reminder to surrender my worries and ask for assistance from the characters behind the curtain when needed.
I pray that the next time I run into a “Dustin” I’ll remember to let go of my judgements and see God in him.
Check out the September 2018 Newsletter here.